Mindfulness as a tool to build Resilience

What is Resilience? 

My friend and mindfulness colleague, Karina Furga-Dąbrowska, is the Chief Mindfulness Officer at Denton’s Global Law Firm and she recently produced this helpful article on resilience.  I’m grateful to Karina and Dentons for allowing me to reproduce it here.

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So you think the glass is half-full, eh? Evolutionarily speaking, it’s probably half empty. You are much more likely to notice, react to, and remember unpleasant, distressful and negative experiences than good ones. Our brain has this negativity bias hard-wired in to ensure our survival, as individuals and as a species. Throughout human history, those more attuned to danger were more likely to survive. 

 

Despite the sad demise of sabre-tooth tigers, our survival mechanism remains. Dangers come in the shape of tight deadlines at work, heavy workload, job insecurity and in the personal sphere rocky relationships, illnesses and family worries. This stress can impact our health, disturbing the body’s internal balance. 

It’s absolutely normal to have difficult moments, triggering negative emotions. But it’s how we deal with it that counts. How we react to those “dangers” – the challenging situations, emotions and feelings that we all inevitably experience as human beings. 

“People are not afraid of things, but of how they view them.” – Epictetus 

According to the Cambridge Dictionary resilience is “the ability to be happy, successful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened”. There is also another definition: “the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity” which is a great metaphor for a resilient person. 

Think of someone you believe is resilient. Why are they resilient? What approaches do they use? 

Do you recognise any of these characteristics of resilient people … 

  1. Aware of situations, their own emotional reactions, and the behaviour of others.
  2. Maintain control of a situation and think of new ways to tackle problems. 
  3. Overcome major difficulties without engaging in dysfunctional behaviour.
  4. Keep energy levels up under pressure.
  5. Smoothly adapt to changes.
  6. Quickly bounce back from difficulties. Have strong social connections (friends, family, co-workers).
  7. Look for help (books, psychotherapy, support groups). 

The power of resilient people lies in noticing, soaking in and building on positive experiences: developing a positive outlook and positive explanatory style. Many studies show a direct link between resilience and happiness and meaning in life. 

When the road gets rocky, what do you do? Where do you find the inner strength to manage during difficult times of uncertainty to support your coping and resilience? 

Building Resilience with Mindfulness 

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” – Carl Jung 

You can develop a resilient mindset through practicing mindfulness. It is a powerful tool that offers the opportunity to make a radical shift in orientation. There are many ways to incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives. As we become increasingly mindful, we begin to respond from a place of choice. In other words, we opt for resilience. 

We can develop inner resources that help us strengthen our resilience. These include:  Continue reading “Mindfulness as a tool to build Resilience”

Breaking Bread Together

I’ve just shared a beautiful weekend with family in a medieval barn in Brecon and it reminded me how much of the important things we miss if we don’t remember to slow the mind down and pay attention to what’s happening around us. It was an amazing few days and I’m still glowing inside.

This lovely piece by Madison Taylor captures it very well…

As we rush to keep up with the speed of our busy lives, one of the first activities we tend to sacrifice is the sharing of a meal with other people. We may find ourselves eating alone at the kitchen counter or hurriedly drinking a cup of soup while driving in our cars. Yet taking the time to share a meal with family or a close friend not only feeds your body, but also it can nourish your soul. Companionship can fill the heart the way warm stew can satisfy your belly. Eating a meal with others allows you to slow down, while nurturing your relationships. 

Breaking bread with others can be treated like a ritual where the gestures of sharing and togetherness are just as important as the food you eat. Planning, preparing, and consuming a meal are all stepping off points toward good conversation, bonding, and learning about someone else. Inviting a new acquaintance to share a meal can be the start of a wonderful friendship. A shared breakfast can be a brainstorming session between coworkers, or it can set the tone for a positive day for family members. Lunch with a friend can be a welcome break from the day’s stress, as well as a chance to unwind. Dinner with loved ones can be a chance to talk about the day’s events with people who truly care. Sometimes, there may even be no need for conversation, and you may want to share a meal with someone while sitting in comfortable silence. 

The breaking of bread can be a fulfilling experience, especially when done among people you love and trust. So the next time you find yourself rushing through a meal in front of your computer, you may want to pause and reconsider. The warm feelings, sense of security, and enjoyment you experience from sharing a meal with others may be the kind of break that you really need.