Tag: 3 Step Breathing Space Practice

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Mindfulness as a tool to build Resilience

What is Resilience? 

My friend and mindfulness colleague, Karina Furga-Dąbrowska, is the Chief Mindfulness Officer at Denton’s Global Law Firm and she recently produced this helpful article on resilience.  I’m grateful to Karina and Dentons for allowing me to reproduce it here.

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So you think the glass is half-full, eh? Evolutionarily speaking, it’s probably half empty. You are much more likely to notice, react to, and remember unpleasant, distressful and negative experiences than good ones. Our brain has this negativity bias hard-wired in to ensure our survival, as individuals and as a species. Throughout human history, those more attuned to danger were more likely to survive. 

 

Despite the sad demise of sabre-tooth tigers, our survival mechanism remains. Dangers come in the shape of tight deadlines at work, heavy workload, job insecurity and in the personal sphere rocky relationships, illnesses and family worries. This stress can impact our health, disturbing the body’s internal balance. 

It’s absolutely normal to have difficult moments, triggering negative emotions. But it’s how we deal with it that counts. How we react to those “dangers” – the challenging situations, emotions and feelings that we all inevitably experience as human beings. 

“People are not afraid of things, but of how they view them.” – Epictetus 

According to the Cambridge Dictionary resilience is “the ability to be happy, successful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened”. There is also another definition: “the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity” which is a great metaphor for a resilient person. 

Think of someone you believe is resilient. Why are they resilient? What approaches do they use? 

Do you recognise any of these characteristics of resilient people … 

  1. Aware of situations, their own emotional reactions, and the behaviour of others.
  2. Maintain control of a situation and think of new ways to tackle problems. 
  3. Overcome major difficulties without engaging in dysfunctional behaviour.
  4. Keep energy levels up under pressure.
  5. Smoothly adapt to changes.
  6. Quickly bounce back from difficulties. Have strong social connections (friends, family, co-workers).
  7. Look for help (books, psychotherapy, support groups). 

The power of resilient people lies in noticing, soaking in and building on positive experiences: developing a positive outlook and positive explanatory style. Many studies show a direct link between resilience and happiness and meaning in life. 

When the road gets rocky, what do you do? Where do you find the inner strength to manage during difficult times of uncertainty to support your coping and resilience? 

Building Resilience with Mindfulness 

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” – Carl Jung 

You can develop a resilient mindset through practicing mindfulness. It is a powerful tool that offers the opportunity to make a radical shift in orientation. There are many ways to incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives. As we become increasingly mindful, we begin to respond from a place of choice. In other words, we opt for resilience. 

We can develop inner resources that help us strengthen our resilience. These include:  Continue reading “Mindfulness as a tool to build Resilience”

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The 3 Step Breathing Space Practice

Being a mindfulness teacher I often get asked “what’s a quick and easy bit of mindfulness you can share with me?”  And to be honest I don’t like the question because it assumes mindfulness is about quick fixes, which it definitely isn’t!

What I am happy to share at times like this is one of my favourite practices, the 3 step breathing space.  I call it a pocket-practice because you can carry it with you and use it absolutely anywhere.  The results can be transformative and once you’re practiced enough to run through the steps without thinking about it you can literally do it in the time it takes to breathe in and out.

So what’s so good about the 3 step breathing space?

All mindfulness practices help us to focus attention on what’s going on in the present moment and usually this is done formally, with time taken to prepare a space where you won’t be disturbed.  The 3 step breathing space is what we call an informal practice, which makes it more flexible and perfect in real time situations.

For example, imagine you’re having a difficult or challenging conversation and you’re getting triggered.  Anger and fear rise automatically and before you know it you’ve said something you regret.

This kind of reactivity is dangerous because it happens so quickly and can feel quite norma i.e.  just part of who we are.  The next time a similar situation arises it’s easy to repeat the pattern.  What we need is something to break the cycle and this is where the 3 step breathing space comes in.

The practice in action

Now imagine the same conversation except this time you’re aware of the sensations of being triggered, maybe tightness in the tummy, a frown on the forehead, buzzing in the brain etc.  As you acknowledge these early warning signals, rather than subconsciously riding along with them,  you increase your mental capacity enough to remind you where you might be heading.  You’ve stepped off the ‘stress express’ and with a simple out-breath you’re able to speak calmly and consciously. This is the 3 step breathing space in action but, as with all mindfulness practices, it takes practice to use it skilfully.

Try it for yourself

This may sound too good to be true but I guarantee that with some practice you’ll soon get the gist of it.  Do the practice a few times a day and when you feel familiar enough with the 3 steps you can experiment and make it your own.  Good luck.